Though it's an earlier song of Wong, i just listened to it lately. Both melody and lyric sounds like a theme song for colossal movie with kingdom as the setting and battle of power as the main story.
I don't know why Chinese songs often really into me and ended being my theme song. Maybe because most of listened song are mellow.
The song talked about the destiny of a pawn chess which has no control of itself. They only move when the commander say so and they can't revert or retreat though they want to. It's like... you don't shut up in a bird cage. Your hands are free. You can breathe freely, you still can walk and see the world. But, one of your foot is locked by a band chain. You can't go but not really go. Revert means you rebel and it wouldn't please your commander.
This morning, when thinking about a possibility of losing a friend suddenly this song came to my mind and I stared humming with no voice. Someone ever told me that I'm too serious in someway. Maybe he's right. I'm too serious thinking about what other people think about me. And now, I did the same, and I hate it. I don't want to think about it and want to pretend that it wasn't happened, but I couldn't.
Yesterday I talked with my far far away friend. We talked about light stuff until I said about praying. Yeah, I just finished my pray when I continued our talk. Then he said that I do alot of prayer. Actually I do them because I have to. He really surprised and said that he started to feel afraid of my country and my religion is so complicated. Hey dude, it's not about my country, it's about my religion' ritual and my faith.
I think every religion is same, though their God nor their ritual is different. That's why I don't ever think that my religion is complicated. What is complicated of doing prayer? I pray because I need. In my believe, there is a life after death. I think others also have this thought. Though we can't see God, He can. He keep His eyes on us.
I know praying isn't enough to enter the heaven gate. We must have good morals and such. We must do well in connecting with God and human. And by praying I feel so close with my God. I want not to see hell. That's why I pray and pray and doing well in my lives. Life is short, I don't know when, where, or how I'll die. Though I pray alot it doesn't mean I can be put in heaven soon. Maybe I ever hurted others feeling or did bad things which make me have to feel the hell and after a long long time I can finally meet my God in heaven. Knowing how hard to enter the heaven, I only can do my best whether in praying or in life.
Talked this kind of stuff to people who is lazy on doing prayer, is hard.
Just ask yourself. When you are alone, in a silent night, ask yourself. How could you be born and live in this world? Who was giving you life? What for do you live? Why people die? When will you die? What happen on you after you die? Where are you after death? Is there a life after the death? If you do believe life after death, what will you do to prepare it? If you believe in God, when and where will you meet Him? What expression will you show Him?
I believe in God and I believe in life after death. God is full of love and forgiveness but it doesn't mean human can do everything they want and don't do everything they want not to do. I believe in karma. Good actions will give you positive karmas and reverse. I did many mistakes in life but I'm sure God will forgive my sins if I pray, regret it and swear never do the same thing again. But, as a human, as a small creature, I still worry, am I good enough to meet my God? There's sky beyond sky. I'm sure there are lot of people much better than me. We are like racing collect good karmas so that God will love us and let us to meet Him with good looking and shining face. We don't want God see us in an ugly face full of blood and maggot, or any disgusting looks. Yeah, I'm not a religious person and i can't say much. But that's what I believing in.
I realize a little difference with my friend talks. Back to the how serious I am in worrying, I'm afraid he started to be bored or dislike to talk to me because of this topic, or because I sound like a lecture and like I know everything and I'm the righteous one. No, no, no, and big NO. I'm not those one. I'm just an ordinary person. I can't be a perfect person, and everyone will no too.
I hope I was mistaken it. I hope I was thinking too much. I hope what I was guessing isn't same with the reality. I hope he doesn't hate me. I hope he still want to be my friend. I hope he still want to talk with me. If he won't, it must be my karma and I have to repair it, in my connection with him or in other people. It will be a precious lesson to me.
Really, the songs meaning has no means in my post. It became my theme song maybe just because the melody like what I said. It because I was sad and the song came to my mind. Maybe the next post will fit the song better.