Tears

(originally posted on 2017-06-16| 17:58:16)

*This is only for Amember. Unauthorized copying prohibited.

These are cats, not foxes. Lol
 
I had a visitor whom I’ve been calling “Mom” since I was a teen.
She gave me these lucky cats.
 
Although I had a lot to catch up with her,
I couldn’t talk even for five minutes because of breathing troubles.

After Mom left, I said to my mother when she rubbed my back.
“I want to see her with a smile, but I just can’t stop crying.”
 
Then she responds,
 
“It’s okay. You can cry as much as you want to.”

Now crying sucks out my energy and I get tired after crying.
So I would rather keep tears inside my body
as they are also precious nutrients.
 
But today when I saw Mom,
I got full of tears then realized something.

When I spit off my struggles and tolerance with tears, 
I get filled with a feeling of freedom and release,
but at the same time, I get very tired.
 
However,
tears coming out of love fulfill my heart.
And I still want to pass along my love to someone else. 

Thank you so much for all your love that I’ve been receiving.
I hope to carry lots of love for you all too.

Now I am worried about something.
 
I saw a big mosquito in my room.
I can’t find it but it might be still here.
I am hiding my legs 

(because there is a risk of infection or swelling)

I did not pay much attention to edema before.  
I was just giving myself over to my mother and older sister.
 
Now the whole legs are swollen and ache when walking.
So it’s the time to seriously deal with it myself.

It’s a bit hard to see.
But here is a photo of my swollen legs.
Please stop here if you do not want to see it. ↓

 

I see stretch marks on my legs now
but I guess the skins will stretch even more.
Now my legs have tripled in size.
 
I know I am still at the beginning stage,
but now I think I can understand those who are struggling with edema.
I am a bit scared.
 
 
On the other hand,
 
My kids’ reactions are….!?
Let me give you some details here for the first time.

Reika 

“Oh no! Mammy. It’s worse than yesterday!
What happened?  Poor thing.
 
mmmm

this is because of something.. something called liver…
And then… what is it? mmmm kidney! It pushes kidney.

Anyways!
You have to take care of the blood flow.
Otherwise, it never gets better.
Point? Pressure point?  This one?  Here?
What point is this?
What is a pressure point?
Where is lymph?
 
You should take pills.
I know you don’t like it.
But you must take them if you want to get better.
Make sure to take them earlier tomorrow.
 
Have you taken them yet today?
Really?
 
Grandmaaaaaa!
Mammy says she took pills already.  Is it true?
 
Okay. Good good!  All right!
 
Good night. Love you  Mammy.”

She really listens well and remembers stuff.
I am always impressed by her ability to handle a long conversation.
She is a very independent girl.
The story mentioned above is almost perfectly true.

Kangen 

“Mammy, you seem to grow bigger again.
Why?
But no worries.
Kankan gives you massage and you get well soon.
 
!?  

“What… Mammy…. It’s sticky…”
 
“Oh sorry. I put some oils.”
 
“O..okay ” ← he seems to be a bit uncomfortable.

 “You don’t like it?”
 
“ummmmmm I am fine with that…but..
I am fine with that… but….”

Then he became speechless… just continued massage.

Both are so unique and different.
 
Sorry for the long post.
 
This blog is really the place where I can vent myself..